Amorous Tryst
by Day of Diana
Summary: Gluttony is slow, but he is not stupid. For once, Father is WRONG. Gluttony helps Lust out of a sticky situation, but does not expect more from her than a pat on the head. A little bit of LustxGluttony, and definitely a helping of LustxEnvy.


_Aha! My first Gluttony and Lust story. Not necessarily a pairing for them here, but do expect a little LustxEnvy to come up later. If this story's not your cup of tea, I'm terribly sorry. Terribly sorry that you're such a dolt and can't appreciate good pairings when you read them. Only kidding, ha ha! But seriously... no, I'm just joking again! Enjoy, please do. _

**DISCLAIMER: Alright, I know that LustxEnvy and LustxGluttony aren't real pairings in FMA and FMA: Brotherhood. But I'm just a little fangirl, so I can do whatever I want! Mwa-ha-ha-ha! Take that, whoever owns the real copyrights to FMA and FMA: Brotherhood! **

**Hee hee, also, please support the official release of the anime and manga of FMA and FMA: Brotherhood. Otherwise I'll tell Edward that you called him short and he will come to your house to kill you. Have a pleasant day! :D**

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He is slow, but he is not stupid.

He is with her all the time, on missions from their master. And when he asks to eat someone, or something, she always gives him permission, or tells him softly that he has already eaten enough for that day, or that hour, or that minute; there is never a 'maybe you can eat this' or 'I'll tell you if you can eat it later', as their master sometimes said, or Envy sometimes said, or Wrath or Pride or anyone else sometimes said. And he is grateful for that.

Sometimes when Lust is talking to a victim or a friend, Gluttony stands in the shadows, waiting to come out to devour or stare at him. Sometimes when Lust is talking to a victim or a friend, Gluttony is standing right beside Lust, waiting to devour or just staring at him.

Lust always seems to be talking to other men. Lust never seems to be talking to other women. Gluttony is not puzzled by this. He just notes it as a fact. It sits in the recesses of his mind.

Gluttony can fight. Lust can fight as well. They work well together. Lust usually pierces the body of the man she is fighting. And Gluttony watches as the man trembles before her, red ooze leaking or spurting from right upper corner of his chest. Lust tells Gluttony this is where she likes to attack men best.

"In their hearts," she says, "where even the strongest men fall. It is the weakest organ of the human body. Here, eat it."

And he does.

And he is grateful for that.

He just notes it as a fact, that Lust always likes to pierce the hearts of men and it works well for her. Their master too is pleased with their teamwork.

Once, though, once Lust pierced the heart of a woman with her long, deadly nails. Gluttony sat on the pipes above the two of them, sin and human, and watched with hesitation. It was ugly. The woman screamed and screamed. She wouldn't stop screaming. If Wrath had been there, he would have wanted to kill the woman just for her annoying sounds.

Then Lust ended the woman's torture by ripping out her heart.

And the woman fell silent.

Gluttony was pleased, then. Lust threw the heart up to him, and he caught it in his mouth, and he swallowed it whole.

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Lust takes Gluttony for walks, sometimes. And sometimes the other sins come along. And sometimes the other sins don't come along. And sometimes Gluttony likes that the other sins don't come along. Because sometimes, when Lust is in a bad mood, Gluttony wants to walk with her by himself. And because sometimes, when Lust is in a good mood, Gluttony wants to walk with her by himself. He does not question his wants.

One night, they are watching the Elric brothers sleep. They are ordered by their master to watch the brothers sleep. Gluttony does not know why they are ordered to do such things, but he does not care. He is happy because he is with his Lust.

"Can I eat them?" he asks.

"No," Lust answers, softly.

And Gluttony is satisfied.

They watch the brothers for hours. The metal suit of armor that the soul of one brother lives in does not seem to sleep. The metal suit of armor stares out the window for the longest time. His glowing red eyes with the white pupils are looking directly at the two of them.

After some time, Lust says, "He can't see us. He doesn't know we are here."

Gluttony doesn't say anything. He is not sure why Lust would say something like that, as the metal suit of armor is looking directly at the two of them.

It seems to Gluttony that the metal suit of armor should be eaten.

"Can I eat it?" he asks, pointing a fat finger to the metal suit of armor.

"No," Lust answers, softly. She stands up. "We're leaving, Gluttony. Come on, let's go get you something to eat."

"Okay!" Gluttony does not question why they are abandoning their post, which their master told them not to leave until Envy arrives with some important information.

But then Envy does arrive with some important information.

"Lust, where are you going? You were told to stay put until I came!" Envy scowls, pushing his lightly tinted hair back from his face.

"Sorry," Lust sighs, "I was growing bored." She sits down again, crossing one leg over the other and letting them hang over the edge of the building. Gluttony sits down too.

"Well, that's not my problem," Envy says. "Anyway, what were you able to find out about those two?" Envy gestures to the hotel room window where the Elric brothers can be seen. The short one is still sleeping, though the sky is turning a delicate shade of pink. The metal suit of armor has moved his head forward. He is not looking at Lust and Gluttony and Envy anymore.

"They've been in there for the past seven hours. I haven't been able to conclude anything."

"You weren't supposed to conclude anything, you were just supposed to watch them!"

Lust stretches back, arching her neck and looking upwards towards the sky. Gluttony does too, but he doesn't see anything worthy of notice. Just the dim pink haze of sky brushing against fluffy, puffy puffs of white. It is pretty, but it doesn't mean anything to Gluttony.

"I was observing their every move. The metal one doesn't sleep, and the short one, after about seven minutes, fell asleep and will continue sleeping until he wakes up or until his brother wakes him up."

"Ah, okay."

"Yes."

Envy looks off to the side, and Gluttony feels an urge to devour something, anything. He is very hungry.

"Lust?" Gluttony says, whimpering, "I'm so hungry…"

"Yes? Then we'll go get you something to eat." Lust starts to stand again, but Envy stops her with a hand on her arm.

"Wait," he says, and Lust stills.

Gluttony whimpers. He is so hungry.

"Father told me that these two are going to be candidates for sacrifice. And that's not all… they're the _primus_ and _secondus_ candidates for sacrifice. So, never give that big lump an order to eat them. You can't touch them either. Father wants you to watch them some more, get their daily routine down, all that. And make sure they don't do anything stupid until it's time."

Lust wrenches her arm back from Envy, and Envy takes a step back from her. His ever-present smirk is flipped, and, though Gluttony cannot read emotions well, Gluttony can sense something odd about Envy. He's… scared? That's silly!

"Silly!" Gluttony bursts out, and the moment of tension between the two other sins is broken. Lust glances at Gluttony and tells him to follow her; she bounds off somewhere. Before Gluttony goes after his Lust, though, Envy stops him.

"Hey, Gluttony," Envy says, and Gluttony leans closer to him so as to hear him better. For some reason, Envy is speaking very quietly, like Lust sometimes does in her sleep. "While you guys were watching those humans, did… did Lust say anything to you about me?"

Envy stands to his full height again, and Gluttony thinks back, hours and hours back. But his working memory… he was not designed with such an excellent one. So he cannot remember. But Gluttony does not know that he cannot possibly remember. So he says no. Why is this a matter of consequence to Envy?

Gluttony notices that Envy's hands ball into fists and shake. "Thanks, Gluttony. Just don't tell her I asked, right?"

"Okay!" Gluttony's smile is wide and pleased. He watches Envy disappear over the horizon.

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"What did Envy say to you, Gluttony?" Lust asks him after he finishes eating a couple of stray dogs.

"Oh… Envy said…" Gluttony remembers his promise. But this is his Lust! He should tell her everything. She's his best friend.

"Envy asked if you talked about him while we were watching the humans," Gluttony tells her.

"Oh, really?" Lust says, and she tilts her head and smiles her beautiful smile. "That's interesting."

"I'm hungry," Gluttony tells her, but she turns her head away from him so that she can stare at the blank, grey wall of the alley.

"Alright. Two more dogs… and then we're on our way to Father's sanctum."

"Yay!" Gluttony cheers, and quickly he gobbles up more animals. More than two, but Lust doesn't seem to notice.

They leave for Father's sanctum in Central.

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After two days and many more snacks, they are walking along the underground canal. Gluttony smells the chimeras lurking in the shadows, watching them. He's not supposed to eat these dogs. But he wonders what the difference is… between the dogs outside of the underground and the dogs inside of the underground. Why aren't they the same… why can't he eat everything he wants to eat?

Lust hurries Gluttony along by calling to him when he is distracted by his thinking process.

"Lust," Gluttony says.

Lust responds with a sigh and a silky, "Yes?"

"Why can't I eat whatever I want to eat?"

Lust stops in her tracks and whips around to face him, her hair glowing faintly in the dim lighting.

"Why would you ask such a question?" Lust says, and her low melodic voice is even lower and more melodic in the cavernous canal.

"I'm hungry," Gluttony responds, and his tummy growls to add helpfully to his reason.

Lust seems to deflate, and she says, "Because you obey orders from Father. You must not eat whenever you want to eat because you are a dangerous creature and allowing you to roam free and rampant would not be to the benefit of Father's plans. You must control your hunger sometimes, Gluttony, otherwise… you'll end up devouring this entire planet. And then where will you go, and what will you do?"

Gluttony accepts Lust's explanation. He takes nothing with a grain of salt. He answers, "I would go wherever Lust tells me to go, and I would do anything Lust tells me to do, if I ever eat the Earth."

Lust stares at him for a moment or two, not smiling. Her eyes look unhappy too; creases form between her slanted, ebony eyebrows.

"Gluttony…" Lust begins, but then a chimera growls from somewhere, and Lust breaks off, looking to the side where the chimera is.

"Let's go," Lust says, and Gluttony follows her happily.

They enter the large sanctum where Father is. When Father looks up to see them, his eyes widen and he leans forward, but otherwise gives no signs of his surprise. He is sitting in his throne, a large chair crafted from iron and steel. There are little tubes and networks running from the chair to who knows where in the sanctum. Gluttony doesn't even know what the tubes carry. But he is happy to see Father, the being who created the sins.

"Hello, Father!" Gluttony yells. Father stares at him. Lust trails behind Gluttony, slinking in silently behind him. Gluttony thinks nothing of this, even though Lust usually leads the way into the sanctum.

Father does not bother to respond to Gluttony or stand up, and his mouth is twisted tightly. Gluttony sees wrinkles where Father narrows his eyes.

"What in the world are you doing here, Lust? I haven't sent for you," Father says, surprise in his voice because he cannot display the emotion of wrath.

"Father, I'm afraid a grave issue has come up-"

"With the Elric Brothers? Envy did tell you that they were very important people, did he not?"

Gluttony sticks a finger into his mouth and watches as Lust and Father discourse. He is not part of their conversation. He never was before, and he never will be. He is content with that, happy to remain silent until his tummy begs for nourishment.

"Actually, Father, the problem is with Envy. There is… something I need to tell you." Lust says, and she nervously tucks hair behind her ear, then folds her arms under her generous bosom.

"Oh, I should like to hear this," comes a new voice, a voice Gluttony has heard before but never seen.

Lust, Father and Gluttony look to the left where the owner of the voice is standing in the shadows. A child's body steps from the darkness, grinning cheerily. He greets them informally. He is allowed to do so because he is the first-in-command of all of Father's sins.

Father nods to Pride as if Father knew that Pride had been there all along, but Lust breaks out into a cold sweat.

Gluttony doesn't notice as her voice wavers upon sight of her older sibling. "P-pride. Just what the hell are you doing here, listening in on my conversations with Father?"

Pride acknowledges his younger sibling with a harsh slew of words. "Shut up, Lust. I happen to already know the details of what you're about to tell Father. And might I say, I was intrigued to hear of your tryst with-"

"Tryst?" Father questions, his eyes now on Lust. "And was this an amorous tryst?"

Gluttony wouldn't know what a tryst was even if he ate it, but because of the faint excitement in the air, he feels his faux blood begin to pump the tiniest bit harder in his faux veins.

Lust is growing pale, and Gluttony senses she is frightened. "Father, you must understand what I did, please do not think Envy and I are trying to defy you. He… Envy… he came to me and… well…"

There is another voice from the shadows, near the entrance to the sanctum this time. Though Father and Pride do not turn to see who it is, Lust jerks her head backward for half a second and Gluttony turns fully around to see the sin that is joining them.

"Hello, everyone. Father, I'm here to do your bidding. What is my new mission?" Wrath says, smiling in that sinister fashion of his. Gluttony, growing bored of the appearance of Wrath, who he doesn't know or like very much, turns back to regard Father and Lust.

Pride has come further into the light now, surveying everyone else. Father only sees his daughter. Gluttony is looking at Lust as well, and Wrath's eyes sweep Lust's body twice, up and down, before striding slowly towards Father's throne.

"It... Father... I..." Then Lust does a very uncharacteristic thing. She falls to her knees before her Father's throne, trembling, and looks up at him with a such an expression of anguish on her face, Gluttony makes a low growling noise in his throat, sounding much like Father's chimeras.

"Now, now, Lust," Father says gently, "I do not blame either of you for indulging in such deviant appetites. Although I must say I'm rather surprised. I've never thought that Envy would be interested in his own sister that way. But since you two are parts of one whole... I suppose it's more like... what do humans call it... masturbation, as opposed to incest."

Father looks content at the conclusion of his small monologe, but his children, especially Lust, look more than a little confused and equal parts shocked and appalled.

Pride speaks first. This is probably due to the embarrassed coloration on Wrath's face, the roller-coaster of negative emotions playing out on Lust's features, and Gluttony's complete inability to understand what the current discussion was about, much less put the pieces of the puzzle together.

"F-father, i-if I may..." Pride stammers; his embarrassment almost two-fold that of his brother Wrath's despite the fact that he was thousands of years older than him, "Lust was not engaged in any sort of _th_-_that a-activity _with E-envy..."

"Oh?" Father sits up straight in his chair again and regards his eldest sin with interest. "Then, pray tell, what _has _she been engaged in with Envy that is such a matter of consequence to me?"

"Oh, er, you see," But Pride cannot continue, his composure failing him as he stumbles around his words.

Gluttony sticks yet another finger in his mouth and grins widely. He knows what Father should be told about Lust and Envy's secret meetings.

"Father, oh, Father! I know!" Gluttony yells to his master. "Please call on me! I know this one!"

Bewildered, everyone turned to stare at Gluttony as he bounced excitedly up and down.

"Well, what is it, Gluttony? Don't keep me waiting all day," Father says, disappointed, waving his hand exasperatedly at his least-favorite son. "Go on, get it out and tell me."

"Well, Envy and my Lust wanted to capture Greed for your birthday!" Gluttony shouts out, pleased with himself.

At this, Father's bored face turns to one of pleasure and excitement. He then motions for Lust to stand up. She does, hastily.

"Is what Gluttony says true? You really wanted to get me something?" Father intones to Lust.

Lust sneaks a glance at her brothers, two of whom are slowly returning to their normal hues, and one who is grinning like the idiot he is.

She smiles and lets a relieved sigh blow quietly past her lips. Gluttony would always be there for her.

"Yes," Lust tells her Father. "Envy and I are currently making plans to capture Greed for you, Father. We know you've been wanting to make a new, more obedient Greed for a long while, so we'd like to get him and boil him down for you."

"Aha, excellent. I would like that," Father bestows Lust with a wide smirk and continues, "It will, of course, be a difficult feat... but if you and/or Envy get killed in the process, I will see to it that you both are reborn better and brighter than you are now."

Veiled anxiety about Father's last sentence causes a drop of sweat to run down Lust's face, but she responds eagerly, "It is an honor to serve you, Father." She bows to him, though she does not get on her knees to do so.

Father leans back in his throne, pleased but not grateful of the work his children are doing for him.

"Good," Father says, "Now be gone with you and Gluttony. Pride, Wrath, stay. I have some things to speak to you two about."

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Lust exhales a deep sigh into the night sky when she and Gluttony are out in the fresh, cool air of Central City.

She turns to Gluttony when he whimpers about his insatiable need for food. She smiles, and tells him he will eat well tonight, to which he responds with a delighted laugh.

Lust thinks she knows why Gluttony lied for her back in their Father's sanctum.

It was true that she and Envy had not actually engaged in the traitorous, incestuous act of sex; but they had spoken to each other about it. Envy had been curious about it since he had witnessed many mortals doing it... and Lust had been curious about it as well.

Yes, despite her beautiful body and her numerous dates with men (all spy acts for Father), Lust had never even bothered to take off her clothes and look at herself, let alone sex someone up. Excessive vanity was not part of her personality. That was more Greed's area.

So they had been talking about it, sometimes with Gluttony in the room (Lust had assured Envy that Gluttony couldn't care less about the topic), but Lust had gradually lost interest in the subject when Envy showed constant resistance to actually doing the act. He was the one who had brought it up to her in the first place, but he just liked to talk about it; usually the places, ways, and number involved of the mortals who practiced it daily. This held no satisfactory feelings for Lust, so after about five years or so of discussing and tennis-tabling ideas about what sex was, Lust gave up the subject and tried to forget about it.

Then Envy started pressuring her to speak about it again, and Lust had reluctantly agreed. So they had now restarted their little discussions about it.

But this time, something was different.

This time, Envy actually wanted to do something about it.

He wanted to do the physical act.

And he needed her to help him.

(Envy's interest in the physical act had tripled when he had acted as an officer who had recently taken to sexing up his wife in the office. Envy had had no idea about this, naturally. So one afternoon, while posing as the officer, Envy had gone into the actual officer's office and found the officer's wife naked on the desk in a very suggestive position. When the officer's wife had screamed, "Do me, Frankie!" it had become too much for Envy to handle and he had run out of the office, his nose a relative blood faucet, in a very quick and very aroused retreat. A/N: This paragraph is completely optional and not at all important to the story. I just thought it was really funny.)

"Gluttony," Lust says while Gluttony is trying to lick all of the delicious blood off his teeth with his tongue, "What would you do if Father ever let you run free and rampant around the world?"

Gluttony belches, then squints his blank eyes up at the stars above Central City. Each diamond glows brightly. Little gems. Gluttony thinks he can hear them tinkling like tiny, silver bells.

"I would go wherever Lust tells me to go, and I would do anything Lust tells me to do, if I ever eat the Earth."

"And why is that?" Lust asks softly, cutting her eyes away from her sibling to look up at the stars too.

"Because you are my Lust."

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_Well, this was fun! Did you like it? It's probably really weird from your point of view, but I always like my stories. That's why I write them, to get my unique perspective on these characters out there and known. Maybe some fans will adopt similar views and like the stories better when they feature characters doing the sorts of things they imagine them to do already. Ahem... I'm rambling. Anyway... I whole-heartedly believe everything I put into these characters' sketches should be there in the character. For example, Gluttony mirroring what Lust does is in the anime and manga, so I included scenes of that in this story. And I think that on some level, Gluttony and Lust realize there's a bit of a romance thing going for them, but they choose not to acknowledge it. It would jeopardize their relationship and the relationship they share with the other sins and their Father. So... toodle-oo, until next time! _

_By the way, THIS IS A ONE-SHOT. Thanks for reading! _


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